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30 September 2011

Admitting to Many Things

I once had Whale Sushi. It was in a charming, overpriced tavern, in a charming, overpriced country called Iceland.

What I plan on doing is telling the priest about it in my next confession, just to see if he gives me 3 extra Hail Marys of that politically incorrect sin.

Or maybe just to see if I get a rise out of him.

No, it does NOT taste like chicken.

29 September 2011

Refugees from Acerbia

John Montagu, Earl of Sandwich: "Egad sir, I do not know whether you will die on the gallows or of the pox."

John Wilkes: "That will depend, my Lord, on whether I embrace your principles or your mistress".

Pillaged from the former Croydonian.

28 September 2011

Red October / Красный Октябрь

Sell everything. Sell the kids to science.

Europe's fate hinges on the willingness of the German population and it's government to pony up the dough. The next election, which could just as well go the way of the DDR-inspired "Die Linke" party of the Entitlement Libertarian "Piraten" are sure to dunk any participation in any affair that includes the word "austerity" or "Eurobond".

Basically the Piraten are as pure an expression of the politics of nanny state comfort as there could ever be. Their entire platform, guanrunteed income for all slackers, "free U-bahn for all", and "steal this book, I've sure he'll keep writing for free", are entirely bound up in an overaged adolescent's notion of amusement. The rest of it is just the usual perfunctory crap about human rights, as if they'll ever make a stand on the state of affairs in Bolivia or Equatorial Guinea.

As for "Die Linke", they are equally self-absorbed with the notion of selling themselves to society's couch-bound and unskilled by promising to appropriating stuff from their neighbors for them.

Buy canned goods and shotgun shells, because if you think the lot in charge now don't get it, get ready to greet the bunch that feel more comfortable with a paper bag over their heads.

26 September 2011

From the Wonderful World of Persuasion, DDR Style

Permit me to present an excerpt from a 1981 East German publication for agitators. It was meant to give small-time propagandists who were supposed to work the barracks, the factory floor, and the like, examples of successful preaching to the imprisoned.

One choise piece provides an example of the limits of truthiness:

Italy: What are the Causes of Terrorist Actions?

The new year began in Italy as the old one had ended: with terrorist actions. On 31 December, Police General Enrico Calvaligi was shot at the front door of his home. In January, the kidnapping of Judge Giovanni D’Urso occupied public attention until he was a released. These were only the latest in a long chain of events that began on 12 December 1969 with a bomb at the Agricultural Bank in Milan and reached its high point so far on Bologna on 2 August 1980 when 85 people were killed and more than 200 injured. What are the causes of these terrorist actions, which have affected Italy in particular, but also other capitalist countries?

Bourgeois and social reformist ideologists and politicians generally, reject the claim that the roots are in the capitalist system. Explaining the causes, however, requires considering the whole interrelated complex of objective and subjective of economic, social, political, and ideological factors, and they develop from the nature of the capitalist system!

In the socio-economic area, terrorism is bred complex of factors of new and old contradictions, in the backwardness of the south, and particularly the sharpness of the economic crisis and its results. The inflation rate in 1980 was above 20 percent throughout the year, at the top of the leading capitalist states, and unemployment according to official figures remained at about 1.7 million, about 50 percent of whom are young people. In a situation of general uncertainty, extremist and anarchist ideas spread among dissatisfied and politically immature young people who want revenge on the bourgeois state. In this milieu, adventurers find an audience for their calls for “direct action” and terrorist acts, which they claim are the quickest path to social change. The crisis is also hard on the middle class, and produces not only anti-monopolistic views, but also radical views to the right and the “left.” Demagogic appeals to national sentiments, or to economic and social difficulties and social problems, allow neo-fascist and “leftist” extremist groups to win supporters in various social levels — from the poorest farmers in the south to some tradesmen, businessmen, civil servants, and students.
The two were, of course, kidnapped by the Red Brigade, well known for their “right wing views” to the East German listener of this bromide, and who were trained, plosletyzed to, and funded by the intelligence agencies of the Warsaw pact,making the entire thing a Daddy drinks because you cry type of argument.

24 September 2011

A Law for Every Occasion

In a society that seems to have more rules than any other, with new rules every day, with more peevish and impossible to enforce rules at that, does anyone in the do-gooding community really think anybody actually follows these rules, let alone themselves?

Good news for jobseekers who like to brag about their drinking exploits on Facebook: A new law in Germany will stop bosses from checking out potential hires on social networking sites. They will, however, still be allowed to google applicants.
Well, now that’s a relief. If I see an interviewee walking down the street, will I also be required to avert my gaze as well?

23 September 2011

Privacy is a Thing of the Past

Gotham, the City that never Sleeps, etal.: Explaining the Mullet Dude on Spring Street [Video]
Wednesday morning, we published a piece about an insanely coiffed mullet spotted on Spring Street. The dude sporting the classic hair style (along with tropical shorts) had a message, but it was abundantly clear.

22 September 2011

News Digest from the Fake-Crisis Management Center, no. 2011\09B

Listen to the bees; they're trying to warn us
Yeah, and the trees are talking to me.... I'm in paaaain! paiiiin!
The mysterious global bee crisis not only threatens agriculture worldwide; it's also a wake-up call to once-clueless suburbanites like myself.
It's one thing to undercut the contribition to humanity by suburbanites, it's another to think that a well documented mold-based disease is "mysterious".

21 September 2011

Mullets: The DARK Side

From a Law Journal... or a "Law Journal", if you prefer.

THE DARK SIDE: There is a reason we used to wear mullets
When you are an old man, eventually, the young people will demand accountability for your actions when you were young, asking questions such as, “Why did everybody wear mullets back in the day?”

To this, I explained: In the pre-mullet era, there only were two hair styles a young man could wear: the Ozzy Osbourne look and the Sean Cassidy look. But we were tired of both.

And it was impossible to just get a crew cut. We simply couldn’t wear any fashion that pre-dated the sexual revolution.

The formerly mulletted correspondent from the dark side:

20 September 2011

Recipes from the Near Distant Ago: „Restesoljanka” or Soljanka from Leftovers


Leftovers that can still make a stock (meat, sausages, vegetables)
leftovers from vegetable salad (tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, lettuce, radishes, onions, cheese ...)
Margerine, for frying
Pickled cucumbers, peppers (or ragout - subject to availability)
bay leaf
lemon slice
sour cream
Salt & pepper

Chop all the meat and meat leftovers into small cubes, add salt and pepper
Sear them in a pan.
Add the diced vegetables, cucumbers, peppers.
Add the leftover sauce, vegetable salad, cucumber and / or pepper
Cover to the top with water.
Season with bay leaf, allspice, ketchup, salt & pepper.
Let it come to a boil

16 September 2011

Mullet Prejudice: Traditional Mores Mocked

TU lineman is a fisherman, some scribler was stunned to find:
Anderson says "yes sir" and "no sir" and wears a mullet, a long, shaggy hairstyle that started in the 1960s and went out of vogue with the Rubik's Cube, narrow ties and the "New Kids on the Block."
Published types, even sports writers, seem to treat people who are that direct and honest as though they were zoo a specimen.
Why does Anderson like fishing so much?

"It's just so relaxing," he said. "I can have a good day, even if I don't catch a thing."

But Anderson seldom goes home empty-handed. He's caught hundreds of crappie or sand bass in a day. And he's given away many more fish than he's eaten.

"That's when people start thinking what you're doing is pretty cool," he said.

14 September 2011

Recipes from the Near Distant Ago: Meat Soljanka, Russian Style


800 g beef
150 g veal
1 carrot
1 parsley root
2 onions
1 bay leaf
150 g chicken, finely diced
100 g ham, cut into small pieces
2 sausages (such as frankfurters), cut into thin slices
1 tablespoon butter
1 tablespoon flour
2 pickles
10 salted, real saffron milk caps, chopped (can be substituted with mushrooms),
12 olives, black
1 tablespoon capers
1 cup sour cream
Salt & pepper

Make a broth of beef, veal, carrot, onion, parsley, and 1 bay leaf. Add pepper.
Remove some meat from the pan and use it for another course.
Add to this broth the chicken, ham, and sausages.
Chop the onion finely and fry in butter and flour. Thin with broth and add to the pot
Add the pickles, mushrooms, olives, and capers. Let it come to a boil, and then let simmer on low heat for 10-15 minutes.
2 minutes before end of cooking, thicken with sour cream.

Variation: The poultry can also be sauteed in butter and then added to the Soljanka

13 September 2011

A Dangerous Strain of an Old Disease Emerges

Spring Street Mullet sighting:
They're calling it a full on mullet, due to its "party up front, business in the rear. No doubt," but we're thinking it's distinctive poof gives it a bit of a Jersey Shore vibe.
File under: livestock

11 September 2011

September 11th (1989)

While Le Monde has for several years made smug references to “the real tragedy of September 11th”, which they always imply to be the anniversary of the coup against Salvador Allende, they overlook mourning over another tragic event in their beloved world view: 11-September-1989. Ouai, quelle misère!

What the present day hard left are sentimental about: a grim autocracy
that they never lived under, and don’t understand.
The Hungarian government decided that they would open their border to Austria, taking down their barbed wire section of the Iron Curtain . It permitted east block citizens to simply “walk off the rez” to freedom and away from Marxist-Leninism. Never mind the Marxist-Leninist sympathies they were stepping straight into, and how the failure of Communism would undercut their control fantasies about man, or delusions that in Socialism there is freedom. Morons.
Ordinary Berliners on both sides of the now-derelict Wall were certainly excited over the prospect of unity, but the city's opinion-makers were often blase or even hostile toward the project. It became fashionable among the leftist intelligentsia of West Berlin to condemn the easterners' longing for unification as a lamentable submission to the lure of Western materialism.
- ”Berlin”, David Clay Large

And if the ideology of the present day “peace camp”, “Solidarity” movements from unrelated people afar, and their sympathists who pretend to be on the sign of human decency and freedom doesn’t sound familiar, this kind of thing might make them feel warm and right at home in the paradise of ”the workers’ and peasants’ state”
East Berlin itself had three Stasi prisons, each of them a hellhole where torture was a regular part of the "reeducation" process. In a report on his incarceration at Berlin-Pankow and Rummelsburg in the early 1970s, Timo Zilli, an Italian-born socialist, described a regimen of daily beatings, weeks of solitary confinement in a windowless cell, and hours of being hanged by his wrists with his feet barely touching the floor. A Jewish prisoner in Pankow who had spent five years in a Nazi concentration camp made the mistake of addressing his guards as "SS-Gestapo" and giving them the Hitler salute. As the guards beat him senseless, they shouted: "You Jewish swine think you can put on such a show because the Nazis let you survive.... We'll finish the job."

Obviously they travelled through time, since all of it must have been inspired by Gitmo. After all, mankind knew no cruelty before 2002.

10 September 2011

Wistol Pipped by the Mulletted Masher

Police in KY are Searching For Three Men
He is described as a white male in his late 20s-early 30s, with brown hair with a mullet cut, about 6'0" and with cross tattoo under his right eye and a teardrop tattoo under his left eye.
Hide the livestock. I think it's the mulleted men who've got the KY.

08 September 2011

News Digest from the Fake-Crisis Management Center, no. 2011\09A

ESA Plans Mission to Blow Up Asteroid Headed for Earth

Which would be just fine, if it were actually headed for earth.
Scientists at the European Space Agency is planning a test mission to blast an asteroid to see if it's possible to change the course of any that may potentially be heading towards the Earth.

The mission, called Don Quixote, launches in 2015.
Interesting that it would be named for the poster child of lost causes pursued by people with OCD.

07 September 2011

Government Sponsored Art. It’s THAT Good!

Building North Korea-style monuments for cash-strapped countries has become a cash lifeline for Kim Jong Il's regime.
"Juche, all the way!, right?" The philosophy of self-relaiance always seems to need to do business outside of the bubble with those horrible capitalist "creators of wealth"...
Much of the unit’s output is propaganda, he said. But they also produce inoffensive nature scenes or ceramics largely bought by Chinese or Japanese customers. “There is no post-modernism, no concept of the viewer deciding the meaning,” Cockerell said. “It’s a more naive style.”
Incapable of irony as they are, expect the usual sophistication too:
Senegal's colossal statue stirs big controversy

But the centerpiece statue — of a man, woman and baby ascending a mountain — is rendered in the signature Stalinist North Korean style. The couple is reminiscent of Soviet-depicted Bolshevik revolutionaries, only with African heads.

In fact, in the original mock ups, North Korean designers hadn’t bothered to change the statue’s features from Asian to African, Senegalese President Abdoulaye Wade told the Wall Street Journal. They were altered only after his complaints. The president was later criticized for paying the U.N.-sanctioned foreign regime $27.7 million for the statue while unemployment in his own country neared 50 percent.

06 September 2011

Recipes from the Near Distant Ago: Vegitarian Soljanka


150 g mushrooms (canned are acceptable)
1 onion, finely diced
250 g fennel bulb, jullienned
350 g cucumber, diced
1 / 2 bell pepper, red, sliced into strips
1 / 2 bell pepper, yellow, cut into strips
2 tablespoons oil
1 liter of Tomato soup (canned or powdered)
2 cl Doppelkorn or potable Grain Alcohol
Salt & pepper

In a saute pan with a little hot oil, add mushrooms, onion, fennel, cucumber and bell pepper.
Stirring frequently, let it cook for 5 minutes, then season with salt & pepper.
Add the tomato soup and boil briefly. Season again with salt and pepper to taste. Optionally clear liquor such as Doppelcorn, Grain Alcohol,or Vodka may also be added.

05 September 2011

Your Mullet is THEIR Business, Vanessa!

Welcome to loo-loo-land, sweetie.... your mop made the news.

Vanessa Hudgens Sports a Mullet – What's Next?
The latest unfortunate look she has tried is a quirky little mullet peeking out like an afterthought from the back of her otherwise choppy head.
The vanity of the press (covering vanity,) is as charmingly self-absorbed as ever.

03 September 2011

Mullets with Motives

"When I have a kid, I want him to have a mullet at some point.
Hide the livestock.
" Budde's head remains still, but he eyes Lebowitz quizzically. "You're like 'A Boy Named Sue.' You're trying to make him tougher by giving him a mullet?"
Probably not, but it isn't the first misguided thing to emerge from the vanity trade on a coastal resort town in California.
Carson Budde is heading to Rhode Island this weekend to meet his girlfriend’s family.

01 September 2011

Dalli Dalli

Another creepy number station, this one a recording of a transmission from the DDR. Jump right in.