News Digest from the Fake-Crisis Management Center, no. 2011\3-A

Hampshire scientists track asteroid heading for earth

Measuring 300 yards wide and travelling at 23000mph, Asteroid 99942 Apophis is predicted to slam into the planet in 25 years' time.

Or not.

The last big asteroid to strike Earth was the one estimated to have measured 300 ft wide, which exploded over the Tunguska region of Siberia in 1908, knocking down trees for hundreds of square miles.

...which is why the science team should hold their breath until 2036.