The Future, as Always, is Bleak. Almost,

Large Asteroid to Almost Hit Earth in November

Let's hope that 2005 YU55, the 400 meter wide monster headed our way this year and forecast to be near Earth in November, doesn't slightly change course and become one of the asteroids that actually hit Earth.

Let's also hope monkeys don't ALMOST come flying out of my butt, so long as we're at it.