A Moose Lodge for Our Degenerate, Knuckle-dragging Age

Meet the Travelling Jagrs

Armed with black mullet wigs, the Travelling Jagrs are starting to make a name for themselves:

"He had some epic hair back in the day"

Alert the Media!

Oh, wait. It IS the media. Derek Holland plans to shave mustache

Derek Holland, who cut his hair prior to his previous start, plans on shaving his mustache Wednesday morning. "I think it's gone long enough," Holland said.

Stunningly, this was not a reference to the press.

Kein Schwein War Da...

Fans of pointless phrases should certainly enjoy this.

As it turns out, reading Schiller’s plays and singing Goethe’s poems doesn’t actually make you fluent in contemporary German.

Well, now!

I Know they CAN, buy MAY they?

Video: Killer Asteroids Can Be Deflected With Nuclear Warheads, New Study Says

It is common knowledge that using a nuclear device on a killer asteroid on a collision course with the Earth would only produce perhaps thousands of smaller projectiles headed toward Earth -- making a bad situation possibly worse. And yet, a new study indicates that using a nuclear device might work after all.

It's hard to know exactly what to get panicked about some days.

Aging Supermodel Mullets in the News

It seems we're supposed to get excited about this: Kate Moss covers Vogue as Bowie

With her blonde hair styled into a distinctive mullet, the 37-year-old model is a note-perfect copy of the Aladdin Sane character Bowie created in 1973.

Ziggy Stardust, and the entire cultural buzz that it really wasn't predates Moss' birth by a year.

As there was no enormous rash of either UFO obsessiveness or a newfound ken for crossdressing, one could say that the entire identity engineering thing was a miserable failure. No-one tell Kate Moss that though.

What? You've Never Heard of the Paupers' Research Centre ?

What are they good at? Making broad, proud, sweeping summit-closing declarations on stuff they will never actually do:

The European Commission has presented plans to boost spending on scientific research by tens of billions of euros.

EU science commissioner Maire Geoghegan-Quinn on Wednesday (30 November) announced the bloc's new €80 billion envelope, up from €50.5 billion for its previous seven-year funding programme.

In fact it's SO visionary, (after all, who would ever think to do "research" or get the taxpayer to fund some of it,) that they had to come up with a new name for this phenomical invention.

The new scheme, dubbed Horizon 2020, will run from 2014-2020.

"We need a new vision for European research and innovation in a dramatically changed economic environment," said Geoghegan-Quinn.

Wait! Wait! I think I'm having a vision!

Why am I Reminded of Devo?

Of cave paintings and the punk esthete: one writer is celebrating the human ability to give some of us an excuse for not progressing.

I had known of the Sex Pistols' association with 6 Denmark Street for a while, but a chance remark on a BBC 6 Music programme led to the discovery that the Pistols, and in particular John Lydon, had left a substantial body of graffiti there and that, surprisingly, it had survived. The findings are described in the latest volume of the academic journal Antiquity, published earlier this week.

The graffiti that fellow archaeologist John Schofield (of the University of York) and I recorded in an upper room at the back of a vintage guitar shop include both accomplished caricatures of Malcolm McLaren, Nancy Spungen and John Ritchie (aka Sid Vicious) and other items that record the use of the building by 4" be 2" (a band formed by Lydon's brother Jimmy), and later as the home of two members of Bananarama. But the importance of the site goes beyond the eye-catching graffiti.

Behold, the onetime shame and pride of Akron, Ohio

A failure to De-Orbit

A two-and-a-half ton German-made satellite is estimated to re-enter the earth's atmosphere soon.

Back in 1999 scientists lost contact with the two-and-a-half ton satellite. It is predicted to re-enter earth's atmosphere at the end of this month.

The German Aerospace Centre said 30 'individual pieces weighing a total of 1.6 tons may reach the surface of the earth.'
ROSAT’s heat-resistant mirror in particular may not burn up upon re-entry and falling debris may include razor-sharp shards.

Unlike the UARS, this one's coming in uncontrollably. Major Tom's retro thrusters have failed. It's raining shreds. Or so forth, and so on.

Last month the German space agency estimated that ROSAT has a 1-in-2000 chance of hitting someone - higher than the 1-in-3,200 odds NASA gave for UARS, the last satellite to fall.

It must have run out of Fahrvergnügen or something.

Cow Mutilations are up!

Mark Wadsworth brings us Cow attacks in the news

"Cars with Heaters that don't Work, and Identification Papers"

The Near Distant Ago of Sci-fi

And You Though that they Just Bounced off of the Turnip Truck

Cucumber deaths provoke outbreak of EU bickering

It's a public health problem, not a summit, people!

Accusations and counter-accusations continue to be exchanged across Europe as the region struggles to tackle a lethal outbreak of enterohaemorrhagic E.coli linked to contaminated cucumbers, which has so far left 14 people dead in Germany.

News Digest from the Fake-Crisis Management Center, no. 2011\04D

Powerful asteroid whizzes past Earth

Brahmand Defence and Aerospace News:

LONDON (PTI): An asteroid as powerful as 15 atomic bombs has whizzed past the Earth from a distance 10 times that of the moon.

Hide the livestock, and count the silver!!!

Responsible Journalism at a Glance

GREEN BLOB IN SPACE
Weekly World News

"This blob can be one hundred times more devastating to Earth, than any asteroid," said James V. Bellanca III, the chief blob expert at NASA.

What Will Happen on December 21 2012?
Lankaweb

The story started with claims that Nibiru, a supposed planet discovered by the Sumerians, is headed toward Earth.

The Day After Tomorrow….Today??
Independent (UK)

The Mayans were right, the planets have aligned, an asteroid is heading for earth, the molten core at the centre of our planet has stopped turning (again) ...

Yet another dytopic environmentalist "looking out for the children, and the future", no doubt. They all seem to sound like that...

our time on planet earth is up.

I mean, first of all the natural disasters that have been happening with alarming frequency lately, the floods, forest fires, earthquakes, Tsunami’s, birds mysteriously falling from the sky….well it is enough to get any normal movie goer freaking out, but then, add to it the financial crisis (the banks know what’s coming obviously), the fact that no other reporter seems to have put this together (clearly a government cover up) and of course, the fact that our TV Schedules constantly pump out reality drivel like X Idol, Celebrity Strictly Come Dining, and my favourite Cat in the Attic,( why do people watch these things……….I just don’t get it, go out and play rugby instead damn you!) and it becomes clear that the powers that be are trying to lull us into some sort of apathetic coma so that we don’t go out and panic.

Why not do the right thing, and off yourself know - before we get to paragragh 8?

News Digest from the Fake-Crisis Management Center, no. 2010\12-D

Tech chiefs prepare to spend big on staff as skills crisis grows
The Australian

The survey found [that] support for the government's National Broadband Network was divided, with 50 per cent welcoming it, 33 per cent undecided and 17 per cent opposing it.

Sure sounds like a crisis to me.

It's Probably a Political Statement

Purdue website calculates asteroid damage
Indianapolis Business Journal

...how much damage a comet or asteroid would cause if it hit Earth? ...You can customize your asteroid and pretend it's headed for the Windy City.

Dude, We're So Hosed!

News Digest from the Fake-Crisis Management Center, no. 2010\10-K

Why an Asteroid Strike Would Turn Humans Into Nightwalkers
National Geographic



National Geographic

Asteroid Impact Could Deplete Ozone Layer


Space Daily: Ww're all doomed...